….or like Ashley and Torment.
Have you ever experienced a day filled with mishaps, bad news, accidents, awkwardness, and was just plain "blach!" ?
You look up, because you are sure there is a dark cloud over your head. Nope. No Cloud above you, but there is something going on.
When we have negative experiences, one after another, we tend to expect more...…. right? Think about it. Are you surprised that there were more mishaps, bad news and ...and ...and...? We are actually Welcoming them in.
We pull up the dark shades, and stop looking for the sunshine. "What's the use, it's not shining for me anyway". Our mood drops, and it affects EVERYTHING. - The way we look, the way we stand, walk, talk, right down to the sparkle in our eyes. It disappears along with our feelings of hope. We replace it with despair. All of a sudden, we are connecting that flat tire and broken refrigerator to our self-worth.
Right here. Right now, is when we need to tough it up. It's much easier to slouch than to stand straight if we slouch all the time. It's harder to get out of bed and get in the shower than to pull the covers up and stay where it's warm and predictable. It's harder to pull yourself up on that horse that just threw you off.
In this great article, "YOUR BODY ON SADNESS" you'll find how your sadness jumps from your brain into your body, and can cause some real health issues.
Consider giving yourself the gift of mindful breathing and thinking every single day. It might look like this:
Stretch, inhale slowly and deeply. Notice your rib cage expanding and your chest rising. Think of one thing or person in your life that you are grateful for and bring your focus on that. SMILE.
Take a step out of whatever room you are in. Or if that isn't possible, take a walk up or down stairs. FOCUS on your walk, and put a tiny spring in your step!
Turn off the devices. This is a time to nourish yourself. Lavish in the experience. Savor each smell and texture and taste. That happens when you focus on what you are doing, and not eating in a way that is automatic and without much thought.
Stop to stretch and breath, and do this mindfully, with focus. Each time you do, chose a part of your body to quietly express gratitude for.
"Hi feet! Thank you for being here for me, every single day, 24/7. I am grateful for you."
For more ideas on helping yourself deal with self-worth and sadness, connect with your local community resources such as Human Resource Centers, local churches, Senior Centers and Info Line, 211.
If you struggle with sadness every single day and its affecting your sleep, your job, or your self-worth, its time to reach out to your doctor, to a friend or family member, or call a hotline for help. They are there for you.
You don't have to be jumping off of a bridge to ask for help.
Here is a link if you live in Connecticut and also US and National Hotlines - http://www.suicidehotlines.com/connecticut.html
YOU CAN DO THIS. ...because YOU are worth it!
"Sha la la la la la live for today
Sha la la la la la live for today
And don't worry 'bout tomorrow, hey
Sha la la la la la live for today . "
The above is from a song by the Grass Roots, released in 1967. Interesting that this song was first recorded with Italian lyrics, and was titled "Piangi Con Me", which translated to "Cry With Me". When the song was composed into English lyrics, the title was transformed to "Let's Live for Today".
There is quite a different mood from each title. The saying that "misery loves company" is quite true, but also, positivity is CONTAGIOUS!
(I wonder if that song would have had such longevity if it was never transformed .)
I teach how to be mindful, and to be in the moment. I think it's really important that we have the ability to do that for ourselves. This allows us to walk out of a bad memory or escape stress or anxiety over a situation that hasn't even happened yet, and might not happen at all. A variation of Live for Today, in this case, would be to Live in the Moment.
Live for Today, is a saying or mantra that is very popular. The idea is that we don't know if we have a tomorrow or not. So, wear the expensive perfume. Use the good china, make those travel plans...!
Well, I 'd like to shine a different light on this thought. How about living for our tomorrows? Are you prepared for when you are considered elderly, and not just your mind, but your body doesn't work as well?
Notice how so many elderly people shuffle, afraid or unable to lift their foot off the ground as much as they used to. Strides become much shorter.
Notice how elderly people struggle to bend an arm enough to get into a shirt or coat sleeve.
Notice how elderly people can become off balance and fall much more easily than when they were younger. Notice how we rarely see these people on hikes, trampolines, doing jumping jacks, skipping, hopping, skipping stairs ...etc.
Why? Well, I'm sure you can imagine that the answers may be one or all of these:
On living for tomorrow....
Are you doing something on a routine basis that will help you to live a more qualitative life when you become elderly?
Since I have started practicing yoga on a routine basis, I can FEEL the changes in my body. I can feel that I am more limber. I can bend further. I have much more balance now than before I began practicing.
I believe that almost anyone can use yoga to help the body they own. Even if they have obstacles such as illness or disability. The same Yoga pose can be modified in different ways to meet different needs and abilities. Yoga takes things a bit at a time. Just as we all should.
A yoga class will be a mix of easy, blissful, difficult, and "OMG! I wasn't able to do that before!"
Yoga is so individualized. A pose can be correct for each person, and at the same time, be different.
I like to share this quote by Zen Shin with my students on the first day of our Basic Beginner's Class:
"A flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms."
Talk to your doctor about Yoga. I'm sure he will agree. Yoga can help you avoid those major changes that come with less core strength and flexibility.
Yoga can also teach you how to be at peace within yourself, and also in the middle of chaos.
When you learn to deal with stress and anxieties, you are living for tomorrow.
When you learn how to strengthen your body and improve your balance, and you practice that routinely, you are living for tomorrow.
"Sha la la la la la live for tomorrow."
Ready To Exhale offers a 5wk Basic Beginner's Yoga course that is slower paced, and teaches you how to move safely, how to meditate, and prepares you to have confidence in joining a yoga class.
Try not to smell like a Sardine.
Do you sometimes feel overwhelmed with:
Life can seem like a box of sardines. Everything you see stinks. After smelling all of those sardines, they can begin to permeate your skin. Now all you can smell are nasty sardines!
The saddest thing about being sad, is that the way we feel tends to show up on the outside. You begin to notice people leaving you alone. Not inviting you to parties or gatherings. (You probably don't remember all of the times you've turned them down.) It might seem to others that you just don't want to be bothered. Or..... that you have a chip on your shoulder, and are just waiting for something to complain about. So, they either stay away, or they give you back an attitude of discontent. (P.S. you don't see YOUR attitude.)
Begin What You Want To Do NOW.
Beginning of February already!
I am always drawn to inspirational quotes about doing what you want to do, feel what you are meant to do, or to go for what you are dreaming to do.
“The secret to living the life of your dreams is to start living
your dreams today, in every little way you possibly can.” - Mike Dooley
Yes! Mike Dooley is right, and darn it! I want to share this with other women!
…and Francis Bacon, I have loved you for this one;
“Begin doing what you want to do now. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand- and melting like a snowflake.”
I am holding the snowflake in my hand, and I will notice the stark, biting cold of it. I will be mindful of how quickly it melts, but first I notice the crystal-like symmetrical arms, with their impossible delicacies. I will share the beauty of it with others, and I will begin now. Thank you Mr. Bacon.
I have always believed that bringing a group of women come together for a shared interest, is a gift; an opportunity! There is so much we can do for each other! Every single person has an ember to add to the fire that is life.
Here is one of my favorite poems, written by Mark Nepo.
At The Window
I was at the window
when a fly near the latch
was on its back spinning--
legs furious, going nowhere.
I thought to swat it
but something in its struggle
was too much my own.
It kept spinning and began to tire.
Without moving closer, I exhaled
steadily, my breath a sudden wind
and the fly found its legs,
rubbed its face
and flew away.
I continued to stare at the latch
hoping that someday, the breath
of something incomprehensible
would right me and
enable me to fly.
Is there someone in YOUR life who was there to right YOU …and enable you to fly?
Happy Valentine’s Day, you beautiful, kind, exceptional human being!
This is a call to action. I know all too well that you are out there. You are laying on your sofa, or maybe you are still in bed. You haven't showered in days. You haven't made an appointment for your mammogram, or GYN, or for the Dentist in years. Part of you is okay with that.
Wait. Which part of you is okay with that?? Is it the Mom? Sister? Wife?
Lonely woman who doesn't matter? Survivor of abuse? Drug abuser? _____________ (YOU fill in the blank).
There are some pretty awful things going on in this world. A person can fill an entire day with them. Movies, News, Social Media Posts, Newspaper articles.... An ENTIRE DAY, and STILL barely touch the steaming pile.
Imagine that instead, you only choose to watch movies that make you smile!
All of a sudden, you feel that your time is too valuable to give to sensationalized News Articles, or Social Media Posts that leave you feeling defeated and sad.
You now want to see uplifting stories of resilience, hope, magic, and beauty!
Soon, you can't wait to see a NEW DAY! You look forward to taking a walk, or a drive, or open a gardening magazine!
You are actually noticing your body's mood changing when you smile!
Do it right now! FEEL it! Ready??
S M I L E
Did you feel that change? Keep that smile there for a bit more. You're nourishing your soul. You're telling your body that yes indeed, You Matter!
YOU are in charge! You have ultimate control of your destiny!
That saying is TRUE...… Its not what happens to you that effects your life most, but HOW you respond to it!
Incase you didn't know.... there is a child inside of you.
Save Her. She's Worth it! Call a friend. Contact a Women's Organization. Call 211 for help at any time. (You do not need to feel you're in CRISIS in order to call). They are there, waiting for you!
Use the button below for a link to help if you need it.
Remember: YOU MATTER. YOU'RE WORTH IT!
Ready To Exhale, LLC is located in Watertown, Ct. This business was the dream of a survivor of child sexual assault and incest.
Debbie Barry strives to show women of all ages and life experiences that they truly are warriors, and that healing can begin with self-care.
Debbie Jaine lives in Woodbury, Ct. Helping women to see their wonderfully kind and powerful selves is what she loves to do best in her business and also in her personal life.