SoulCollage(R) Trust The Process

As life whirls past, with remnants of ‘would have’ and ‘should haves’ blowing and landing just beyond my reach, I opt to grab a coffee and a much loved SoulCollage® card that I made in the first workshop I attended.  I still remember so clearly, searching through images with no purpose in mind.


Would I collage about my children?  I’m so proud of them, and now that they are adults with their own families, I dearly miss time spent with them.


Hmm, none of the images seemed to be connecting with feelings or thoughts of my children.  On this day, in this first workshop, I really did not know how this process would affect me.  “Let the images pick YOU”, the facilitator said.  I had just moved in with my best friend, which meant that for the first time in over 30 years, I would leave my little town; the place I raised my 4 children.  Would this be the focus of the pictures I was about to receive?
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There must have been hundreds of images.  My eyes were drawn to a girl who was behind bars, sitting in a way that made her seem afraid.  She was unclothed, and vulnerable.  I wanted her.  Or, she wanted me. A few minutes later, I was drawn to a deer who was covered in birds, perched on her back.  I felt like the deer was a protector for the birds; maybe an advocate.  A friend.  I wanted that deer.

I was finding that these pictures were tapping into my past.  I have learned to manage symptoms of  complex PTSD which grew and festered inside of me.  It grew as quietly, secretly, and mysteriously as the abuse did.  In my 50’s, I started a support group for survivors. I was starting on a path towards intense healing, although at the time I had no idea that this is where I was headed.

Through emails, phone, and in person, I had been contacted by more than a few hundred women and men who were looking for help.  I found my purpose.  I engrossed myself in finding educational articles, inspirational quotes, art therapy projects…  anything I could to promote understanding and healing. 

I felt like a vessel where others could find hope and help.  Each and every shaking voice that found their way towards trusting in me was inspiring, and empowering! 

The deer in the picture; that was me.

In the workshop, there were background pictures to look through.  By this time, I knew what this collage was going to be about. 

My childhood had little of the warmth that comes with family love and family connections.  My eyes were drawn to a picture of winter, and ice, which gave me a feeling of stark coldness that (as a child) I felt while maintaining everything in my life was wonderful. 

​There was no doubt that this picture was mine.  It was calling to me, and I could feel it.

For the past 8 years or so, I have become a changed person.  Coming to terms with my own past has helped to connect with my own lost inner child.  I have found renewed purpose and strength and courage. 

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I felt like I could do anything I set my mind to!  – the world was in my hands.  This was my thought process as I cut that image of the world out and placed it exactly where I wanted it.

​“Trust in the process.”, said the facilitator.   …and so I did.  …and it was magical.

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